Tattooed Elephants

     We were fishing with people I had never met in an unfamiliar place. Only deciding what to say next. 

     We all try to catch things that are bigger than us. 

     Fish, People. 

     We wear t shirts with names of places we've never been to.

And the worst part is - that we think we deserve to see those places. 

     We think we deserve to see Hawaii because it's printed on our backs, a stained souvineer from grandma in '09. 

     If you were printed on my back that'd be weird. And you probably wouldn't like me anymore. 

     We smelt like camp fire for the rest of the night and the man next to me at the movie leaned over to his wife to ask if we were smokers. 

I didn't mind the smell of the smoke because I smelt the same as you. 

     And I like you.  

     But you know those tattoos we got at the carnival won't stay for more than 3-5 days, unless we don't shower. 

     So I'd like a stained t shirt with your name on it. So when this is all over, I have something to remind me that there was someone so good that I thought I deserved. 

     Because I once did. 

Iceland

     That one country in-between no one knows and no one cares. Why would you want to travel there when the number one hated object in the world is in its first name.
     Have you ever been to Iceland? Have you ever been sight seeing? Tasted the food? Learned the language? Read the books? Met the boys? Met the girls? Who knows if they are better looking than the ones from California.
  
     There’s always that one thing that we love but no one else does. That one person we will never stop caring about no matter what everyone else says.
     But why? Is it because we want to be special, or be different? Or is it because God somehow someway accidentally wired our hearts with theirs.
  
     We’re taught to be different. But we all turned out the same. We all love cars and hate the cold.
     But maybe I’d rather ride my bike even if it’s 10 degrees outside.
  
     We were discussing music. He says he loves anything from Iceland. I’m from Iceland. He must love me.

Eighteen

     You can't hold your ground, because that's something gravity is already doing. 

     They say you have to shoot for the stars to reach the moon. 

     But why would I shoot for something I don't want?

     My mom, She grounds me. There is no way out of this house because she pulls me away from the force that keeps people from being socially sane.  

     Our parents think they understand because they have been through it. 

     I wouldn't care either if I were already married. 

     2 more years until being 18 and free in a country that is meant for freedom. 

     Something so sweet I have ever longed to taste. 

Lost in the Fire

Everyday my eyes get colder. This refrigerator is taking more than what is being put in. I’m frozen. I’m frozen.

There is something about this day that’s going to be different I know it’s going to be different because the sky is a little bit lower today.

It’s closer to my head.

It’s closer to my hands.

This new student teacher has a sky of his own and it is way above my head. We talk of revolution and the name of Hitler’s dog. There are somedays when I come home dumber than when I left.

A boy told me I was pretty.

      I believed him because he was pretty.

     The sky looked closer so I tried to touch it with my hands. My math teacher told me I couldn’t let factors fool me. That’s the first time math has become helpful.

     Because you fooled me.

     And now my hands are lost in the fire. 

Sorry, I Can't Today

     I get nervous when people call, so I just don't answer.
     And I will never set my voice-mail to "Hello you've reached ________ please leave a message," because I sound like a 5 year old when my voice is being recorded.
     Chances are I'm afraid of you.

     If you desperately need me then stop by my house.
     But I would hate that, and have my brother tell you I'm in the shower or someplace other than my room.

I'll just keep looking at the cracks in this ceiling, Discovering what they are shaped like and how they ever became so tangled.
 
     My Mom has already asked what I want for Christmas.
     I told her confidence.

Bow Ties

     Every time I see one I think of you. 

You think normal people don’t see bow ties often. I do. They’re painted in the back of my mind.

They’re all coming back.

Bow ties and memories.

The night you picked me up and I had you drop me off someplace else.

What was I thinking?

My Mom taught me better than that.

But we got lost.  You got lost in the streets, while I got lost in your eyes.

     We’re laughing now. When we get there I get out, but you don’t. I get to the door and wonder if it’s too late to run back.

    

Since then we’ve always been close friends.

    

But every time I see a bow tie I wish I would’ve gone with you.