I've Never Cried Over Fireworks

1. i hadn't second guessed buying pre-ripped jeans until i flew across America and my cousins asked how many times I had fallen before I got there.

   
   i ordered a new heart last Monday. (It won't arrive 'till late november 'cause my two year contract of loving you isn't up yet.)

   
   i knew i'd come back again, i always do, so I made a special request to have it ship pre-broken.

   
   

   

   
   

   

   
   

   its been months since i thanked God for jeans, cousins, florida humidity, and you. I learned in church that you're supposed to thank God for everything.

   
   even if you aren't thankful for it.

   
   i'm so naive. i see headlights in the distance and think they're angels. & there's this one lamppost by my house and i swear it only turns on when i drive by. 

   
   and on the fourth of july i didn't watch one second of soccer.

   
   all i could think about were your arms. i couldn't stop thinking about that grayish green hat you always wore on the weekend, and the night you let me drive all the way home from the passenger's side. You didn't think we'd make it. 

   
   

   But we did.  

   
   

   i spent 2 hours getting ready, and the only thing you complimented were my eyes.
   

   
   

   
   as if you knew their waterless beauty wouldn't last.

   
   

   

   
   

   
   

All I've Got Left Are Mispelled Words & an Unidentified Keychain

I hope one day I'm prettier.

You always turn things around so you look better. You murdered me and somehow made it my fault. 

We only experience dying once and it's not like I can just google how it feels. 

But I'm assuming it's nice. 

Because the ones who knew never came back.

I Guess I've Only Known You for Seven Moons and I Kissed a Boy On the Third

White socks white sneakers white hair.

Everyone asks if you bleach it (If you did I would think you were pretty gay)
But I know you don't because it is the same as your Mother's
your Brother's
and even your Grandpa's

I guess most Grandpas have white hair.
Mine don't cause we're Italian.

Who knew I'd be attracted to such a white boy. Don't take that personally. I love your hair and the way you run and that you don't know how to spell anything.

Not the word 'anything' but like, every single word.

"But I'm sick of that topic"
I love when you say that.

TEll ME IF YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE IM SICK OF WAITING

Sorry,


Bye.

Confession Tweet

The only reason I haven't given up on you is because God.

The same song is always playing when I leave your house.
Yesterday in math I asked what it meant.

My teacher handed me a paper that said 'You found it'


I really hope it didn't mean you.

#RISK

I'd rather be failing in Harvard than passing in the local community college.

I'm purposefully out of reach but attainable, you're afraid because you think I won't last.

But I will.

We're living on borrowed time.

You're going to have to save yourself.

I Followed the Wrong Car to Arizona

And I spent my last 3 dollars on information I never wanted to hear.

You're Like Describing Salt

I've never slept without having a nightmare. 

I think that I would sleep more if I wasn't so afraid of it. 

I'm not saying that you're a nightmare, but you frighten me. 

There are a few things in this world that are unexplainable and you are one of them. 

My fortune cookie told me to stop being stubborn, and my doctor said to always look out for my food. 

Doctors have had like 100 years of schooling, so it would be best to take his advice. 

I'm going to give you a chance. 

But if I wake up in a sweat - I'm not blaming the 25 cent fortune cookie. 

You Can't Control a Black Hole

     You weren't being yourself. I couldn't decide if it was the expired food, or because she was there.

   
     You kissed her. I saw it. 

     Self control is important, and you don't have a lot of it. I left my respect for you on your doorstep and you'll have to wake up to that every morning. 

     But I get it.

     I know what it's like when your world spins around something deeper, and colder than the sun just because it has been there longer.

     You deserve to be happy. 

     You deserve to be warm. 

     So come closer, because nothing's wrong with being on fire. 

     And Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore.

You AGAIN(st) Me

   When I was younger I believed that if my Mom had a baby boy; My two sisters and I would never play with barbies again. I believed that there was a seal and a mermaid that lived in the irrigation pond next to Grandmas, and I believed that glow in the dark pajamas could protect me.

     I was gap toothed and could count to as many fingers as I had, I gave a boy that I liked a drawing of himself in an orange shirt.
     I knew that it was love because whenever I chased him during recess he would always let me tie him up to the tether ball pole with no problem.

     I'm now 16 and believe that I can take on whatever this world throws at me, a 1 and a 6 are nothing but numbers describing how long I have have lived in this house.
     And you?

     You are the definition of a lover, a boy that never cared for anything other than his last name and the coast of California by which he came from.
     Because Californians are supposedly more smart and beautiful.

     I knew that I'd love you again.
     I keep putting dead batteries in the drawer, and taking them back out to use, thinking that they're new.

     But now I'm the one that is being tied to the tether ball pole.

     And I no longer have my glow in the dark pajamas to protect me.